Catholicism and Other Random Thoughts

Hello, Blog.  How've you been?  Good?  We're right in the middle of summer craziness here, but I'm feeling the need to put some of my "deep thoughs" down on paper...er...cyber-paper anyway. So, we decided back in October to give the Catholic church another chance.  As many of you may know, I kind of gave up on Catholicism when Dave and I were engaged and the Catholic church wouldn't marry us until Dave, who has never been and will never be Catholic, went through the very lengthy and complicated annulment process.  I, on the other hand, as the Catholic party, would have to go through a much less involved annulment of my first marriage train wreck.  Does that make sense to anyone?  'Cause it doesn't to me. We shopped around a few different churches, but for me, nothing really hit home.  I was doing it so that we could go to church as a family, but then I realized that Dave really didn't care an iota about being at church on Sunday.  So, if I were going to be the one doing the leg work...why not do what I felt comfortable with.  I had to first do a lot of soul searching and decide if *I* could be comfortable going to the Catholic church.  Would I feel hypocritical?  There are a LOT of things about the church I disagree with, but *theologically* I identify with Catholicism. One big thing I don't agree with, is the Church's teachings on birth control.  I'll even give them their arguments against the pill, considering the abortifacient properties.  But what about sterilization?  What about other methods?  The Church's arguments about this are that those things go against the will of God.  And that is the argument I just can't understand.  I've decided that until the Church decides to speak out just as loudly against fertility treatments, Clomid, IVF, egg and sperm donors and the like, I'm ignoring the whole "will of God" argument, as it just doesn't hold any water.  The will of God is for some people to have ZERO children.  The will of God is certainly not for people to have six children at a time.  I mean, God gave women two boobs, for Pete's sake.  It's pretty obvious by design what His intentions were. Now, I would like very much (sometimes) to have another child or two.  My husband does not and that would explain his willingness to have someone slice into his "boys" to take care of the possibility of any future babies.  I wasn't completely on board with the decision, but his arguments all make sense.  Children are expensive, I think, if you do it correctly.  Kids need sports, they need to get out of the house once in a while, they need some nice clothes to wear so they feel good about themselves, they need family vacations and college educations.  They need weddings and cars.  Those things get more and more impossible to provide the more children you have. There's this whole "Quiverfull" movement.  Have you heard of it?  Those who are Quiverfull will tell you each child is a blessing and use *one* Bible verse to defend their decisions to never, ever, ever, use *any* form of birth control.  And then the justification will start.  They will tell you that kids don't need their own bedrooms, that they don't need soccer, or nice clothes, or cars.  They'll tell you that it's perfectly normal for their 16 year old to spend more time with their one-year old than they do.  Everyone in a large family has to pitch in.  They'll try to justify why their kids are eating bologna every day.  They'll tell you that yes, in fact, God *does* want them to suffer and struggle.  I generally think to each their own.  But you know what...I have a problem with this.  I have a problem with a family having kids that they can't provide for and relying on my tax dollars to help them raise their brood.  I read a blog today by a woman who is pregnant with number nine despite myriad problems with previous pregnancies.  She's now facing the very real probability of either dying during this pregnancy, or losing the baby because of preterm labor, or both.  And you know what she has to say about it...if she or the baby die, that's God's will.  I came away from that post boiling mad.  What if, you know?  What if she leaves eight babies motherless?  What if she and her family have to go through the horror of burying another preterm baby?  Why?  Because she's so stuck in her convictions that she's taking for granted the blessings God has already given her.  God will take each one of us when He's ready, it's true.  But he gave us free will.  How is purposely getting pregnant knowing the risks (and especially if the risks are very very high) any different than refusing a life-saving medication?  Does this woman take herself to the doctor when she's ill, or does she rely solely on God's will then too?  Would she let her child bleed out in front of her citing God's will, or would she call an ambulance?  At what point do people pick and choose when to rely on God and when to rely on the gifts God gave us through modern medicine?  Why is a surgical procedure to remove a hot appendix o.k., but a surgical procedure to prevent pregnancies not? I'll never convince any Quiverfull person that they're philosophy and their arguments are just plain messed up (to put it mildly), because they've got that big book that they like to pull verses from, all the while ignoring other verses that might be just a line or two before or after.  And you know what?  Even the verse they cite is full of room for interpretation: Psalms 127:3-5 "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."  Where here does it say that my quiver can't be full of just four arrows?  Every quiver is a different size, no?  And youth?  What's youth?  Maybe God wants us to stop having children at 35? Well, there you have it.  My musings on everything from Catholicism to birth control to the lack thereof.  Have a nice day!